I have outsmarted the website. Now I have no idea what I was going to write about however... But hey, now I can start posting again. For better or for worse.
Kylian
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Je suis de retour!
My blog is reborn!
In light of being.. house-ridden. I am going to start blogging again, also because I read Liam's blog and felt he needed company in the comunity. However I do not have many things to write about today. But I will try my best to improvise some text.
Alright well, my new Hero (first hero really) is officially David Belle. Creator of parkour, martial arts extrodinair and actor... is there anythign he cant do? I'd like to think so but it doesnt seem that way. Everyday I get restless and jumpy because I wanna go out and train like a madman but my broken hand is stopping me from all progress. Gar.. I still go to Attadore once in a while to learn how to do standing backflips and wall-run flips (which I can almost do both) so I suppose not all is lost.
As far as everything else.. since this.. hand.. incident things have gotten better at stock. Nikki and I seem to have an understanding now and is being alot warmer towards me. As well as very much required pazzaz pep talks by Jim, things seem to be looking up for the summer somewhat. I just re-read that paragraph and realised I said as far as EVERYTHING else goes and started talking about stock... sad. Well anyway stock is NOT everythign else. Rehearsing with my brothers to sing at kents farewell, its going well, we sound pretty good. I don't know if anybody would be too stocked about coming to my church with all my anti-christ friends! But it would be sweet if some of you came, kent would appreciate the gesture and I would like it if you guys saw me sing... because you know i don't really do it often.
Also putting alot of time into choregraphing this crazy movie kent and I are making. Man, it is going to be so good... but it will be hard to pull off well, this choreography is really tricky. We're just going ot have to shoot it over the course of a few days... pretty bad improv for this post but hey.. gotta write something.
Kylian
PS: Selling my car for 1,000 bucks... know anyone who wants it let me know. =P
In light of being.. house-ridden. I am going to start blogging again, also because I read Liam's blog and felt he needed company in the comunity. However I do not have many things to write about today. But I will try my best to improvise some text.
Alright well, my new Hero (first hero really) is officially David Belle. Creator of parkour, martial arts extrodinair and actor... is there anythign he cant do? I'd like to think so but it doesnt seem that way. Everyday I get restless and jumpy because I wanna go out and train like a madman but my broken hand is stopping me from all progress. Gar.. I still go to Attadore once in a while to learn how to do standing backflips and wall-run flips (which I can almost do both) so I suppose not all is lost.
As far as everything else.. since this.. hand.. incident things have gotten better at stock. Nikki and I seem to have an understanding now and is being alot warmer towards me. As well as very much required pazzaz pep talks by Jim, things seem to be looking up for the summer somewhat. I just re-read that paragraph and realised I said as far as EVERYTHING else goes and started talking about stock... sad. Well anyway stock is NOT everythign else. Rehearsing with my brothers to sing at kents farewell, its going well, we sound pretty good. I don't know if anybody would be too stocked about coming to my church with all my anti-christ friends! But it would be sweet if some of you came, kent would appreciate the gesture and I would like it if you guys saw me sing... because you know i don't really do it often.
Also putting alot of time into choregraphing this crazy movie kent and I are making. Man, it is going to be so good... but it will be hard to pull off well, this choreography is really tricky. We're just going ot have to shoot it over the course of a few days... pretty bad improv for this post but hey.. gotta write something.
Kylian
PS: Selling my car for 1,000 bucks... know anyone who wants it let me know. =P
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Thanks...
Hey guys. I do feel alot better since that night. and reading your responses have also made me feel pretty good.
The night at Jakis really wasnt the reason I felt so bad that night, I'm sorry I distorted some of the things that happened that evening with Liam and Kevin. I love you guys.
Hell, I love everyone which I guess is why I was so down by the idea that was going through my head at the time. Thanks for proving me wrong.
Kylian
The night at Jakis really wasnt the reason I felt so bad that night, I'm sorry I distorted some of the things that happened that evening with Liam and Kevin. I love you guys.
Hell, I love everyone which I guess is why I was so down by the idea that was going through my head at the time. Thanks for proving me wrong.
Kylian
Friday, March 23, 2007
Friends....?
So here it goes, it is currently 4:36 in the AM and im not tired in the slightest. I have a harsh stream of depression that is hitting me so I'm going to rant for a bit about what is bugging me.
I don't know that i have very many real friends. I look around and realise no one takes me seriously, and deep down, i dont think that many people like me. I realised recently that most of the people the I call friends don't really see me as anything but that loud, crude guy who makes terrible jokes about inappropriat things... well for the most part its true i suppose. But i have reached out many times to all of these people that I truly love, to get to know them better and for them to get to know me for who I really am... but it apears no one is interested. I care so much about everyone but I think if I were to cut all my ties here in calgary, the only reason people would REALLY notice is that I wouldn't be around to drive. No one really talks to me, im just there for entertainment.
Tonight i was here to hang out with some friends (jakis) I had fun... but when it came to the end of the evening I was just in everyones way. One ecample of this is i tried joking around while half asleep while watching hercules, getting rather negative responses I moved upstairs to go to sleep where kevin and liam shortly came upstairs and I quote kevin on this "oh my fucking god, kylian is here" I took the hint and went back downstairs where pretty much every other surface was taken and i didnt really feel like squishing in with them at this point. In my rather unhappy mood i wanted to go home but my keys were nowhere to be found.. i search for them for a good hour and no one knows where they are. I go to leave and nobody cares all that much... its too cold for the bike... i come back in and walk around for another 2 hours... and now this.
I can't sleep... and i wasn't planning on posting this really... but I thought I should prove my point by posting it. Because I don't beleive anyone will read this and care all that much, if I'm wrong. Please prove me wrong because this is one of those times where I hope I am.
Again, heres me sounding very fuckin emo... hell i feel pretty fuckin emo.
I don't know that i have very many real friends. I look around and realise no one takes me seriously, and deep down, i dont think that many people like me. I realised recently that most of the people the I call friends don't really see me as anything but that loud, crude guy who makes terrible jokes about inappropriat things... well for the most part its true i suppose. But i have reached out many times to all of these people that I truly love, to get to know them better and for them to get to know me for who I really am... but it apears no one is interested. I care so much about everyone but I think if I were to cut all my ties here in calgary, the only reason people would REALLY notice is that I wouldn't be around to drive. No one really talks to me, im just there for entertainment.
Tonight i was here to hang out with some friends (jakis) I had fun... but when it came to the end of the evening I was just in everyones way. One ecample of this is i tried joking around while half asleep while watching hercules, getting rather negative responses I moved upstairs to go to sleep where kevin and liam shortly came upstairs and I quote kevin on this "oh my fucking god, kylian is here" I took the hint and went back downstairs where pretty much every other surface was taken and i didnt really feel like squishing in with them at this point. In my rather unhappy mood i wanted to go home but my keys were nowhere to be found.. i search for them for a good hour and no one knows where they are. I go to leave and nobody cares all that much... its too cold for the bike... i come back in and walk around for another 2 hours... and now this.
I can't sleep... and i wasn't planning on posting this really... but I thought I should prove my point by posting it. Because I don't beleive anyone will read this and care all that much, if I'm wrong. Please prove me wrong because this is one of those times where I hope I am.
Again, heres me sounding very fuckin emo... hell i feel pretty fuckin emo.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
The Wall
I have been writting for awhile now... and everytime i get through alot of the things I want to talk about on the certain subjects, I hit a wall. I wrote long rants on a couple of things just now but they seem to be half done... theres not really a point I was getting to... well... there is but I haven't reached those points, and I am not really sure how to get to them. So anyway, i deleted them and I think I'm done with these ridiculous rants for now...
Kylian
Kylian
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Relationships/Relationshits Cont.
Reading Paula's response madae me re-read my post in a somewhat different light. I realise that I came across in a way that was honestly not my intention.
I just want you to know first of all that I am a true believer in true love, although that contradicts my previous... rantings... I usually post when I am feeling somewhat.. not myself.
Anyway, I just want to clear a few things up.
All I really wanted to say was almost all relationships can work. If you want them to. It all comes down to you, nothing can stop you, no one can get in the way. If you fall in love with someone, than thats all you need. Love as much as you can whenever you can. because there is no greater feeling, no greater gift than being in love and giving all of yourself to someone else. Don't hold back because you are afraid of what the other may think, you may get hurt in the end but you will always look back and never regret what you had.
By the way, I love you Paula. I found the barret you gave me on my 16th... haha. I miss you guys.
Kylian
PS: I'm out of things to say, please read Paula's comment/rant because it perhaps says what I meant to without sounding like a dick.
I just want you to know first of all that I am a true believer in true love, although that contradicts my previous... rantings... I usually post when I am feeling somewhat.. not myself.
Anyway, I just want to clear a few things up.
All I really wanted to say was almost all relationships can work. If you want them to. It all comes down to you, nothing can stop you, no one can get in the way. If you fall in love with someone, than thats all you need. Love as much as you can whenever you can. because there is no greater feeling, no greater gift than being in love and giving all of yourself to someone else. Don't hold back because you are afraid of what the other may think, you may get hurt in the end but you will always look back and never regret what you had.
By the way, I love you Paula. I found the barret you gave me on my 16th... haha. I miss you guys.
Kylian
PS: I'm out of things to say, please read Paula's comment/rant because it perhaps says what I meant to without sounding like a dick.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Relationships/Relationshits
Well.. in my long hours of having nothing to do in my home, since my internet and everything else seems to not be working at the moment.. I have had time to think about, through conversations with friends and through personal revelation things about “RELATIONSHIPS”
First of all, I just would like to clear up one thing. “soul Mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while everyone will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and good woman can have happiness and a successful Relationship if both are willing to pay the price…..
Almost all Relationships could be beautiful, harmonious, and happy ones, if the two people primarily involved would determine that it should be, that it must be, that it will be.
Happiness does not come from pressing a button, as does an electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.
Some think happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but a true couple is based on happiness which is more that that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.
When people get together learn soon that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.
One comes to realize soon after dating that the significant other has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during the “Infatuation” stage of the relationship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during that same time now grow to sizeable portions. The time has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning and planning….
A relationship commenced and based upon reasonable standards…, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the persons themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or for bad, Financial, social, political and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the relationship depends first and always on the two, who can always make their relationship successful and happy if they are determined and unselfish.
Am I ahead of my time…? Should I screw around at my young age and forget all these things that to me make perfect sense? Maybe… but I never did like wasting my time.
Those are my current Ravings…
First of all, I just would like to clear up one thing. “soul Mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while everyone will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and good woman can have happiness and a successful Relationship if both are willing to pay the price…..
Almost all Relationships could be beautiful, harmonious, and happy ones, if the two people primarily involved would determine that it should be, that it must be, that it will be.
Happiness does not come from pressing a button, as does an electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.
Some think happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but a true couple is based on happiness which is more that that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.
When people get together learn soon that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.
One comes to realize soon after dating that the significant other has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during the “Infatuation” stage of the relationship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during that same time now grow to sizeable portions. The time has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning and planning….
A relationship commenced and based upon reasonable standards…, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the persons themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or for bad, Financial, social, political and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the relationship depends first and always on the two, who can always make their relationship successful and happy if they are determined and unselfish.
Am I ahead of my time…? Should I screw around at my young age and forget all these things that to me make perfect sense? Maybe… but I never did like wasting my time.
Those are my current Ravings…
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Integrity..?
Here is sometihng I wrote on Integrity awhile abck.. and I just found it.
"Integrity is a state or quality of being complete, undivided, or unbroken. It is wholeness and inimpaired. It is purity and moral soundness. t is unadulturated henuineness and deep serenity. It is courage, a human virtue of incapable value. It is honesty and uprightness.
Integrity in individuals or corporate bodies is not to ask, "what will others think of me, and my practices?" but, "what do I think of myself if I do this or fail to do that?" Is it proper? Is it right?
Integrity in man Should bring Inner peace, sureness of purpose, and security in action. Lack of it brings the reverse, disunity, fear, surrow, unsureness."
Reading that again just made me think.. as I often do.
I think some of us need to take some kind of personal inventory to see if hidden away under the rugs and in the corners of our lives there might be some vestige of hypocracy and uglyness of error. Or could there be hidden under the blankets of personal excuse and rationalization some small eccentricities and dishonesties? Are there cobwebs in ceilings and corners which we think will not be noticed? Are we trying to cover up the small pettinesses and the small gratifications we secretly allow ourselves rationalizing the while that they are insignificant and unconsequential? Are there areas in our thoughts and actions and attitudes which we would like to hide from those we respect most?
Again... something to chew... I need to get out of this house and stop getting philosophical on you.
"Integrity is a state or quality of being complete, undivided, or unbroken. It is wholeness and inimpaired. It is purity and moral soundness. t is unadulturated henuineness and deep serenity. It is courage, a human virtue of incapable value. It is honesty and uprightness.
Integrity in individuals or corporate bodies is not to ask, "what will others think of me, and my practices?" but, "what do I think of myself if I do this or fail to do that?" Is it proper? Is it right?
Integrity in man Should bring Inner peace, sureness of purpose, and security in action. Lack of it brings the reverse, disunity, fear, surrow, unsureness."
Reading that again just made me think.. as I often do.
I think some of us need to take some kind of personal inventory to see if hidden away under the rugs and in the corners of our lives there might be some vestige of hypocracy and uglyness of error. Or could there be hidden under the blankets of personal excuse and rationalization some small eccentricities and dishonesties? Are there cobwebs in ceilings and corners which we think will not be noticed? Are we trying to cover up the small pettinesses and the small gratifications we secretly allow ourselves rationalizing the while that they are insignificant and unconsequential? Are there areas in our thoughts and actions and attitudes which we would like to hide from those we respect most?
Again... something to chew... I need to get out of this house and stop getting philosophical on you.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Food for... thought??
Iv been thinking about this recently through simple little things I have tried to do for people.
If we focus on simple principles and simple acts of service, we will see that organizational lines soon lose some of their significance. Too often in the past, organizational lines in things we have systematically set oursleves into in our lives, habits, comfort zones ect. have become walls that have kept us from reaching out to individuals as completely as we should. We will also find as we become less concerned with getting organizational or individual credit that we will become more concerned with serving the ones we may be charged to reach. We will also find ourselves becoming less concerned with out organizational identity and more concerned with our true and ultimate identity and helping others to achieve the same sense of belonging.
Service to others deepens and sweetens this life while we are trying to live in a better world. It is by serving that we learn how to serve. When we are engaged in the service of our "fellowm-en", not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there si less time to be concerned with oursleves!
Helping out barb for example, although I was there and worked hard for 10 hours... she tried to pay me but I refused to take her money... after spending so much time with her and talking to her I realised that she has alot bigger problems than I do... and although i was broke and very easilly could have taken the money she was very willingly trying to give me, I couldn't take it from her.
I know a man whose every thought through all of his life had been for anf of himself... He had sought to keep his life for himself and to gather all the good things of liufe for his own development and enjoyment. Strangely enough, trying to keep his life for himself... he has shrunk, has lost his friends and his family and will probably end up being alone for the rest of his life.
As we seek true happyness... we must expand our energies for purposes larger than our own self interest...
My current thoughts...
Kylian
If we focus on simple principles and simple acts of service, we will see that organizational lines soon lose some of their significance. Too often in the past, organizational lines in things we have systematically set oursleves into in our lives, habits, comfort zones ect. have become walls that have kept us from reaching out to individuals as completely as we should. We will also find as we become less concerned with getting organizational or individual credit that we will become more concerned with serving the ones we may be charged to reach. We will also find ourselves becoming less concerned with out organizational identity and more concerned with our true and ultimate identity and helping others to achieve the same sense of belonging.
Service to others deepens and sweetens this life while we are trying to live in a better world. It is by serving that we learn how to serve. When we are engaged in the service of our "fellowm-en", not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there si less time to be concerned with oursleves!
Helping out barb for example, although I was there and worked hard for 10 hours... she tried to pay me but I refused to take her money... after spending so much time with her and talking to her I realised that she has alot bigger problems than I do... and although i was broke and very easilly could have taken the money she was very willingly trying to give me, I couldn't take it from her.
I know a man whose every thought through all of his life had been for anf of himself... He had sought to keep his life for himself and to gather all the good things of liufe for his own development and enjoyment. Strangely enough, trying to keep his life for himself... he has shrunk, has lost his friends and his family and will probably end up being alone for the rest of his life.
As we seek true happyness... we must expand our energies for purposes larger than our own self interest...
My current thoughts...
Kylian
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I'm Tired...
I'm real tired...
Was talkin to Darian via webcam/mic for awhile... played some games... and then nig was ruined by bad news of party cancellation tommorow night... sigh
I'm pretty upset about it right now. Maybe I can still get together with some people and do something.. perhaps go sleding again now that my body has healed from its last torment. Hit some jumps.. break spome bones, good times.
Anyways, I'm really psyiched to start learning some dances this week. Everytime i listen to Footloose music I picture some sweet dances to go with it and I get so pumped.
Alright, cheers boyos.
Was talkin to Darian via webcam/mic for awhile... played some games... and then nig was ruined by bad news of party cancellation tommorow night... sigh
I'm pretty upset about it right now. Maybe I can still get together with some people and do something.. perhaps go sleding again now that my body has healed from its last torment. Hit some jumps.. break spome bones, good times.
Anyways, I'm really psyiched to start learning some dances this week. Everytime i listen to Footloose music I picture some sweet dances to go with it and I get so pumped.
Alright, cheers boyos.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Points of Authority
So, today was Valentines day. I went in to Barb's store around 9:30 - 10:00 and was there untill 8ish.... that was alot of flowers for one day.. even Valentines day. I mean I ran around all day bringing girlfriends flowers for happy couples.
Whatever, it was all worth it though. Barb is such a nice lady I was glad to help her out, and besides... I wasn't really looking for anything else to do on Valentines :P
Anyways, when it got late and the store was closed up Barb and I had a very good chat about life.
The whole love thing, I suppose I was having a bad day... heh, theres is still alot of truth I beleive in what I said that day. But its not all true. Theres something about me, you know if I'm going to fall in love I'm going to put my whole heart into it. If I am going to love someone at all its going to be to the fullest that i can give it. Because you know what, as much as I may get hurt or disappointed or not have those feelings returned. I at least I had the chance to be in love, and although that sounds chessy... well fuck you, I'm a chessy kinda guy. I mean so far I have had nothing but dissapointments in the end, but hey.. I wouldn't change the good moments as real or unreal as they may have been, they were real to me and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
well... its 5am now.. and I'm still up... im gonna go to bed.
Happy Valentines day... heh
Whatever, it was all worth it though. Barb is such a nice lady I was glad to help her out, and besides... I wasn't really looking for anything else to do on Valentines :P
Anyways, when it got late and the store was closed up Barb and I had a very good chat about life.
The whole love thing, I suppose I was having a bad day... heh, theres is still alot of truth I beleive in what I said that day. But its not all true. Theres something about me, you know if I'm going to fall in love I'm going to put my whole heart into it. If I am going to love someone at all its going to be to the fullest that i can give it. Because you know what, as much as I may get hurt or disappointed or not have those feelings returned. I at least I had the chance to be in love, and although that sounds chessy... well fuck you, I'm a chessy kinda guy. I mean so far I have had nothing but dissapointments in the end, but hey.. I wouldn't change the good moments as real or unreal as they may have been, they were real to me and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
well... its 5am now.. and I'm still up... im gonna go to bed.
Happy Valentines day... heh
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
And then there was...
I went to bed last night at around 12:30... but I didnt fall asleep untill around 2:30... I had the most amazing trail of thought, and now I ave no idea what it was about. I would have written about it at the time but my internet was down.
No matter, I suppose it will come back to me eventually.
No matter, I suppose it will come back to me eventually.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
On any Sunday
Here we go, sunday.
Tommorow is a new day. Rehearsal is cancelled which means I can go out with Janine and do some catching up. I haven't talked to her in a long time, which is wierd because as she always says "we tight like butta". I'm going to try and hang out with more of my old friends that I haven't seen in awhile. Not that there is anything wrong witht he friends I have now but I'm going to get a life outside of summerstock.
Tommorow I have rehearsal for Liam's play so I might stick around to talk to Bryan.
Bah... I'm so sick, when I move my eyes it feelslike the back of my sockets are going to explode. I had such a high fever this morning I was getting delussional, I don't even remember what was going through my mind.
Well, its my naphew's birthday today. My family is here now so I am going upstairs.
Kylian
Tommorow is a new day. Rehearsal is cancelled which means I can go out with Janine and do some catching up. I haven't talked to her in a long time, which is wierd because as she always says "we tight like butta". I'm going to try and hang out with more of my old friends that I haven't seen in awhile. Not that there is anything wrong witht he friends I have now but I'm going to get a life outside of summerstock.
Tommorow I have rehearsal for Liam's play so I might stick around to talk to Bryan.
Bah... I'm so sick, when I move my eyes it feelslike the back of my sockets are going to explode. I had such a high fever this morning I was getting delussional, I don't even remember what was going through my mind.
Well, its my naphew's birthday today. My family is here now so I am going upstairs.
Kylian
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Fresh
Hello blog freaks.
I got home from Vancouver a short while ago, and have nothing I really want to do. So, I am going to do some writting.
ahh summerstock, I have taken a whole new way to look at you. First, lets clear the air. I hate you. The only reason I associate myself to you is because of people who do not share my hatred for you. Now, I'm going to have a good chat with Jim, make sure he understands that I am doing HIM a fovour by being there, and not the other way around. He wants to try to manipulate me into staying by pulling out things like "I can get you drama 30 with is a university entering course if you do us a video", or stick me in chorus with a fancy brand like Garvin V-D.. hahaha, I laughed myself silly when I read the cast list. I already knew the list before it came out, there was no big surprise anywhere, but the Garvin thing was gold.
As for as the video, this is something I am doing for myself. Not you Jim. As of now summerstock is the bottom of my priorities list.
Something I have noticed on this trip to Vancouver, I care way to much about everything. I always get hurt and make mistakes because as Big mat use to tell me "I sweat the small stuff". This is very true, I mean I look at my life and I let things take control of me because I care way too much. I'm not talking about emotional shut-down here, but I could definately learn from Katie's example.
Alot of things are going to happen to you throughout your life, so don't sweat it. Harships, heartbreaks... all these things that make your life suck, theres no point to any of it.. why sweat anything in life because sooner or later you are going to get a swift kick that I like to call "Life's essons"
I for one.. don't think I will even try to fall in love again. You know... as wonderful as it is at the time. What was the point, I don't really know. You look at alot of parents.... yeah, theres alot of love there, divorce, seperations... for what? Well, I suppose everyone has their own personal valid reason but the truth of the matter is its all bullshit. Don't get me wrong, you will see rare couples that love eachother untill the end... as rare as it is. and lucky them. Which reminds me, you know why the notebook was so popular?? becasue love that strong doesnt exist, its a fantasy we would all like to believe.
.... I would have done anything for the person I loved, my life seemed so... I had meaning... I had somewhere to go.
The only thing I ever wanted from Life is to get married to an amazing woman, get a pack of kids and a golden Lab. My worst fear has always been to end up alone... but now, I think thats the road I'm going to take, because its not worth it. I can devote everything into someone and time is still going to Kill that "bond".
Anyways, this is Kylian. And this is my Emo post.
I got home from Vancouver a short while ago, and have nothing I really want to do. So, I am going to do some writting.
ahh summerstock, I have taken a whole new way to look at you. First, lets clear the air. I hate you. The only reason I associate myself to you is because of people who do not share my hatred for you. Now, I'm going to have a good chat with Jim, make sure he understands that I am doing HIM a fovour by being there, and not the other way around. He wants to try to manipulate me into staying by pulling out things like "I can get you drama 30 with is a university entering course if you do us a video", or stick me in chorus with a fancy brand like Garvin V-D.. hahaha, I laughed myself silly when I read the cast list. I already knew the list before it came out, there was no big surprise anywhere, but the Garvin thing was gold.
As for as the video, this is something I am doing for myself. Not you Jim. As of now summerstock is the bottom of my priorities list.
Something I have noticed on this trip to Vancouver, I care way to much about everything. I always get hurt and make mistakes because as Big mat use to tell me "I sweat the small stuff". This is very true, I mean I look at my life and I let things take control of me because I care way too much. I'm not talking about emotional shut-down here, but I could definately learn from Katie's example.
Alot of things are going to happen to you throughout your life, so don't sweat it. Harships, heartbreaks... all these things that make your life suck, theres no point to any of it.. why sweat anything in life because sooner or later you are going to get a swift kick that I like to call "Life's essons"
I for one.. don't think I will even try to fall in love again. You know... as wonderful as it is at the time. What was the point, I don't really know. You look at alot of parents.... yeah, theres alot of love there, divorce, seperations... for what? Well, I suppose everyone has their own personal valid reason but the truth of the matter is its all bullshit. Don't get me wrong, you will see rare couples that love eachother untill the end... as rare as it is. and lucky them. Which reminds me, you know why the notebook was so popular?? becasue love that strong doesnt exist, its a fantasy we would all like to believe.
.... I would have done anything for the person I loved, my life seemed so... I had meaning... I had somewhere to go.
The only thing I ever wanted from Life is to get married to an amazing woman, get a pack of kids and a golden Lab. My worst fear has always been to end up alone... but now, I think thats the road I'm going to take, because its not worth it. I can devote everything into someone and time is still going to Kill that "bond".
Anyways, this is Kylian. And this is my Emo post.
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