Well.. in my long hours of having nothing to do in my home, since my internet and everything else seems to not be working at the moment.. I have had time to think about, through conversations with friends and through personal revelation things about “RELATIONSHIPS”
First of all, I just would like to clear up one thing. “soul Mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while everyone will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and good woman can have happiness and a successful Relationship if both are willing to pay the price…..
Almost all Relationships could be beautiful, harmonious, and happy ones, if the two people primarily involved would determine that it should be, that it must be, that it will be.
Happiness does not come from pressing a button, as does an electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.
Some think happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but a true couple is based on happiness which is more that that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.
When people get together learn soon that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.
One comes to realize soon after dating that the significant other has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during the “Infatuation” stage of the relationship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during that same time now grow to sizeable portions. The time has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning and planning….
A relationship commenced and based upon reasonable standards…, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the persons themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or for bad, Financial, social, political and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the relationship depends first and always on the two, who can always make their relationship successful and happy if they are determined and unselfish.
Am I ahead of my time…? Should I screw around at my young age and forget all these things that to me make perfect sense? Maybe… but I never did like wasting my time.
Those are my current Ravings…
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4 comments:
Having been in a relationship for almot 2 years now, I think I can respond accurately for those who are in a long term relationship. I agree with you that there is no such thing as soul mate. I think that obviously, in any relationship there is a compatibility issue, and you want to find a harmonious balance between you. However, I don't think that you have to "pay the price" for not having a soul mate. Sure, not all relationships work out or anything, and not all relationships are perfect, but I hardly think that heartbreak and woe are inevitable. At this time in our lives, most relationships don't work out. And yes, when you're in one accomidations must be made to ensure you are both happy and comftrable with each other. But I don't think that one needs to make big accomidations to make the other person happy. Or at least, ideally. There's nothing that irritates my boyfriend more than when I think I'm irritating him with one of my mannerisms and try to change it. I think that the accomidations one needs to make in a relationship are small and insignificant. You know, like I really want Chinese food but my siginificant other wants Indian, and I guess I'll make them happy. I'm not saying that we never argue and that my relationship is perfect, but I think that when you find someone who you really work with and really adore, and they feel the same way, there is always a comprimise that will make you both satisfied. You don't always find that comprimise, but it's there. I don't think that a couple based on happiness comes from "giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing" OR "selflessness". And I think that if your happiness does come from that, either it's not a relationship you should be in, or there's simply not enough communication. I think that to have a successful relationship, you need to have commitment and communication. You need to talk about your issues, and talk them through like adults, until you can find a form of comprimise that will make you both happy. Or at least satisfied. I realise that I probably sound smug, but that's not really my intention. I think that you've misrepresented a lot of people in what you've said, and while your thoughts are coming from a good place, someone who was totally unbiased to everything would probably find fault in how you're representing relationships and happiness. Mind you, they'd probably find fault in what I'm saying here, but I think that whoever reads your rant should probably read mine too, and form an opinion based on both. You probably sound bitter, and I probably sound disillusioned. However, I think there is truth to what both of us have to say. You're speaking from your expiriences, and I from mine.
I was just coming on here wondering if anyone read my rants. And I was actually thinking it would be great if someone argued them.
Please understand that when I wrote that I was far from bitter. The way wrote it might have sounded a little bit harsher than I intended however. I completely agree with you that in a healthy relationship people don't have to "sacrifice" or "Pay the Price". The point was trying to put across is that although everything seems wonderful at first, if you don't have an attitude that you want to make it work, and will work to make it successful, then sooner or later you're going to look at everything the other does as irritating and let everything get in the way of why you liked that person in the first place.
However, I think if you are in love, and truly are in love. Then nothing will ever bother you enough to end what you have. Both sides don't always share the same feelings, which is why relationships, unfortunately, almost always end at our age. Sometimes people get stressed about schoool, sometimes someone is willing to look around all the "annoying" or bad qualities in that person, while the other chooses to let them get in the way.
I do think however that a couple based on happiness comes from "giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing" and "selflessness". Although it depends on how you look at it. And I could be thinking about marriage not dating. Of course, it does not only rely on these things specifically, but in the end I think if you keep those things in mind both sides would remain more content.
Its not all about compromise and sacrifice, if it were... why would anyone date or get married.
Anyways, I'm rambilng.
The only thing it comes down to I believe is communication. Talk about problems, talk about what is bothering you AND be clear when you do. Don't tell the other person small things that you think should be hints to how they should act to make things better.
Well... i just woke up and I can't really think straight.
There we go! I'm glad you took a look at what I had to say and came to that conclusion. I think that what you just posted right there made a lot of sense. Yeah, it's all about communication and commitment. If you're going through a hard time, vocalise it and try to resolve it. If your partner wants you to give up something you don't want to sacrifice, tell them. Work out a compromise. Or, you know, dump them, because it's bullshit that they're trying to change you :)
Amen
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